At this point in the semester, I’m so stressed with my thesis and teaching and grading that I’ve taken to tweeting lyrics to Paula Abdul’s “Rush, Rush,” from her album Spellbound—which I loved when I was in the fourth grade. The best thing ever is speculating about whether Paula meant to be so damn dirty. I mean, “When you kiss me up and down, turn my senses all around”—that’s questionable. (Also, “I can feel it, I can feel you all through me.”) And she follows this up by saying, “I don’t know just how or why, but no one else has touched me—so deep, so deep, so deep inside.” Well, I think I just answered my own question, right?! (Interrobang.)
All I’m saying is this: I did not think this song was dirty when I was in the fourth grade. Bonus points to Paula for being dirty AND seeking love. And using pre-Sad-Keanu Reeves in the video—which unfortunately downplays the dirty.
And also, why aren’t you following me on twitter? I cracked myself up tonight.

At this point in the semester, I’m so stressed with my thesis and teaching and grading that I’ve taken to tweeting lyrics to Paula Abdul’s “Rush, Rush,” from her album Spellbound—which I loved when I was in the fourth grade. The best thing ever is speculating about whether Paula meant to be so damn dirty. I mean, “When you kiss me up and down, turn my senses all around”—that’s questionable. (Also, “I can feel it, I can feel you all through me.”) And she follows this up by saying, “I don’t know just how or why, but no one else has touched me—so deep, so deep, so deep inside.” Well, I think I just answered my own question, right?! (Interrobang.)

All I’m saying is this: I did not think this song was dirty when I was in the fourth grade. Bonus points to Paula for being dirty AND seeking love. And using pre-Sad-Keanu Reeves in the video—which unfortunately downplays the dirty.

And also, why aren’t you following me on twitter? I cracked myself up tonight.

In an effort to love myself more and not spend another day crying, I got an appointment with a new therapist for next Tuesday. I feel like a failure for needing to go to therapy again, but I just can’t stop crying on my own. Everything seems to point back to issues I didn’t even realize were there, and every new woe—no matter how small—seems to compound the problem. My list of problems starts with my family and runs through my fear of failure, yes, but also my fear of success, my fear of love and true intimacy, the way I can’t seem to get over the paralyzing fear of writing, my failure as a teacher, and how hard it is to demand the respect that I deserve. It’s a lot. And I know you’re probably tired of hearing about my crying and I’m tired of crying, but I’m starting to feel like my family has the fuku of Oscar Wao attached to it, and it’s folly to think I can escape it. In any case, Happy Valentine’s Day to me, 2012: I love myself enough to go to therapy again.

In an effort to love myself more and not spend another day crying, I got an appointment with a new therapist for next Tuesday. I feel like a failure for needing to go to therapy again, but I just can’t stop crying on my own. Everything seems to point back to issues I didn’t even realize were there, and every new woe—no matter how small—seems to compound the problem. My list of problems starts with my family and runs through my fear of failure, yes, but also my fear of success, my fear of love and true intimacy, the way I can’t seem to get over the paralyzing fear of writing, my failure as a teacher, and how hard it is to demand the respect that I deserve. It’s a lot. And I know you’re probably tired of hearing about my crying and I’m tired of crying, but I’m starting to feel like my family has the fuku of Oscar Wao attached to it, and it’s folly to think I can escape it. In any case, Happy Valentine’s Day to me, 2012: I love myself enough to go to therapy again.

Don’t they look happy? Don’t you want that? I do. Though I was really rooting for Alicia Keys and that guy from the coffee shop, Michael (from “You Don’t Know My Name”—which I like to pretend was autobiographical, when I sing along at the top of my lungs), I’m happy to see that she rebounded (years later) with Swizz Beatz and looks happy. We can all love again, right? We can all still have another chance, right? Man, I’m starting to sound depressing. My life has just become some big parody of itself, or maybe it has been all along and I’m just now noticing.

Don’t they look happy? Don’t you want that? I do. Though I was really rooting for Alicia Keys and that guy from the coffee shop, Michael (from “You Don’t Know My Name”—which I like to pretend was autobiographical, when I sing along at the top of my lungs), I’m happy to see that she rebounded (years later) with Swizz Beatz and looks happy. We can all love again, right? We can all still have another chance, right? Man, I’m starting to sound depressing. My life has just become some big parody of itself, or maybe it has been all along and I’m just now noticing.

How to survive your last semester of grad school. Just add wine.

Tonight I went to Walmart and bought three frozen packs of a green bean/potato combo, one frozen pack of broccoli and cheese, two bags of Reese’s minis, a Mountain Dew, a three pack of cotton underwear, and three boxes of kitty litter. Rough day? Fuck yes. And I’m pretty sure I’m another stop closer on the train to spinsterhood.

60 plays

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
 by Ray LaMontagne from Trouble

Shelter - Ray LaMontagne

This is what I wanted and needed today, more than anything.

I just got facebook timeline and…whoa. There’s a lot of stuff I forgot was on there, posts from when I joined in 2005 and facebook was still for college students. This is both paradoxically exactly why I want to leave facebook (future employers!) and exactly why I can’t. (Also, you should know that the primary poster here is my best friend, who is such a lovely dork and supportive friend.)

I just got facebook timeline and…whoa. There’s a lot of stuff I forgot was on there, posts from when I joined in 2005 and facebook was still for college students. This is both paradoxically exactly why I want to leave facebook (future employers!) and exactly why I can’t. (Also, you should know that the primary poster here is my best friend, who is such a lovely dork and supportive friend.)

230 plays

[Flash 9 is required to listen to audio.]
 by Feist from The Reminder

I Feel It All - Feist

annaetc:

5 Things To Do 10 Minutes Before You Go To Bed | Apartment Therapy

1. Do The Dishes - It’s a proven fact that we’re more likely to eat at home and make dinner ourselves if the area in which food preparation happens is clean. It’s easy to cook dinner and leave cleanup for later, but making sure the dishes are done before the morning routine starts makes for a healthier day. Breakfast is a snap, dinner is easy and best of all the dishes are easy to do. Doing them each night eliminates those little bits of crusty stuck on food that can take extra time to scrape off later.

2. Pick Up Outerwear - It’s easy to come home, take off your jacket, your shoes, your hat and get comfy! After all, that’s what a home is for! But if your home is anything like ours, more than a days worth of shoes on the floor can be a disaster. Literally. Making sure that stray bits of clothing and shoes have been returned to their closets and baskets makes other chores on our list easier throughout the week. No one wants to clean their space before they can clean their space. Knowing you have a few minutes to spare to vacuum is easy when you don’t have to tidy before hand!

3. Replace Entertainment - Most often our days are filled with busy stressful things and after our projects, homework or activites are done, there’s nothing more we want than to sink into our couch with a snack and a great dvd or video game. The downfall to such habits usually necessitates a little clutter out in the open. Game boxes, dvd cases, controllers, remotes… they can seem simple and harmless, but keeping it in check each night means our main living spaces are ready to go for the next nights fun. Plus it keeps things at bay in case impromptu guests come over.

4. Tie Off Trash - Each morning before we leave the house we take the trash out. It’s a great way to keep our space clean and to prevent having to drag more than 1 bag outside at a time. Because if more than 1 bag goes out at a time, that means there was a bag sitting and waiting in your home. And although it’s easy to do (we’ve been there too), the thought of a bag of trash just hanging out is kind of… gross. By tying it off each night, it’s ready to grab as we walk out the door to walk the dogs. We don’t have any fuss, mess or frustration. We also have smaller bags than most, so if this isn’t applicable to you, then adjust it as it works with your home.

5. Make A List - It seems silly, but there’s nothing more annoying that having been out all day, only to return to discover you forgot to pick up something important. Shampoo, toilet paper, copies that needed to be made, whatever the case may be, a simple list of things that need to be picked up or done the next day can be quite freeing. We put the list in our pocket on the way out the door and it helps us keep track of the things on our agenda.

Mlle Hazelwood

Reader & Writer, Master of Fine Arts, Collaborator on Structure and Style, a new poetry blog.

 

Gratuitous Pictures

Summer Reading 2012

Books Read in 2012

Catching Up on Classics

(What I'm) Reading.am